Keep Calm and Keep Families Enrolled (The Art of Handling Parent Complaints)

Me vs. the Occassional Curb

Parent complaints are like curbs. If you’re anything like me, you run into one every once in a while. Never fear! Handling complaints correctly can help you improve your business, keep families enrolled, protect your reputation, and avoid licensing or legal headaches.

So, when a complaint lands on your desk, take a deep breath, resist the urge to go into fight-or-flight mode, and try this step-by-step guide instead.

Step 1: Expectations Are the Foundation

Most parent complaints happen because of mismatched expectations, so setting the right foundation for parents and staff is critical.

Start by going over the parent handbook before enrollment, or at least highlight the key points. This not only establishes expectations at the start, but it also helps weed out families who aren’t a good fit for your program. We’ve all had that one parent we wish we hadn’t enrolled (you know the type—this step helps prevent that).

Your staff also needs to be just as clear on your policies and procedures as your parents are. Use your onboarding and training process to walk them through every protocol. That way, everyone’s on the same page, mistakes are minimized, and your team is less likely to accidentally create situations that spark complaints.

When expectations are clear for both parents and staff, you’re already cutting down on complaints before they even happen.

Step 2: Accept That Complaints Will Happen

You can have the Michael Jordan of programs, and you still won’t be able to please everyone. No matter how hard you work, someone will eventually be unhappy. And you know what? That’s okay.

The secret is changing how you see complaints. A complaint isn’t the end of the world or a scarlet letter—it’s an opportunity to learn and improve. Some complaints might lead to policy changes, while others might just teach you to communicate more clearly. Occasionally, you’ll even realize that you need to vet families more carefully (because let’s face it, all money isn’t good money).

The point is, don’t take complaints personally. Instead, seize the opportunity to grow.

Step 3: Have a System in Place

Unless you’ve figured out how to be omnipresent (in which case, teach me your ways!), you won’t always be the first person to hear a parent’s complaint. Complaints might go to a teacher, receptionist, or another staff member before they ever make it to you. That’s why you need a clear process in place for how your team should handle them.

For example, you can require that teachers immediately schedule a phone appointment between the parent and the director if a complaint arises. Or, you could create a QR code that leads parents to an online complaint form (I can help you set this up!).

Whatever process you choose, I strongly recommend including a step where parents submit their complaints in writing. This avoids miscommunication (we’ve all played the game "telephone") and ensures everyone is on the same page. Make sure your team knows the process (remember: go over this during onboarding) and sticks to it.

Step 4: Listen to Understand, Not to Respond

This is where it gets challenging. When a parent starts voicing a complaint, that little voice in your head might start planning your rebuttal before they’ve even finished talking. That’s your natural instinct to protect yourself. The problem is, this defense mechanism distracts you from actually listening to what the parent is saying.

Take a deep breath, mute that inner voice, and give them your full attention. If it helps, jot down quick notes to keep track of their main points. This shows the parent you’re engaged—and it helps you stay grounded in the conversation instead of spiraling into defense mode.

Step 5: Restate the Complaint

Once the parent is done speaking, don’t jump straight into problem-solving. First, restate their complaint in your own words. This ensures you understand what the issue actually is—not just what you think it is.

Let me give you an example.

When I worked at ABC School in South LA, we charged an annual materials fee. Most of our students were subsidized, and some parents didn’t realize the subsidizing agency didn’t cover the fee. One parent, Janet, was upset when the center owner, Ms. Irene, told her the fee was overdue. Janet explained she didn’t know about the fee and couldn’t afford it at the time.

Instead of empathizing or clarifying, Ms. Irene said something along the lines of, “The agency only covers tuition. It’s not the government’s job to take care of people’s kids.” Unsurprisingly, Janet gave her two-week notice and withdrew her daughters.

Later, I reached out to Janet and clarified the situation. After discussing her concerns, we resolved the issue with a payment plan. We almost lost two children over a completely preventable misunderstanding. The real issue wasn’t the fee itself—it was the lack of communication about what the fee was, why it wasn’t included in tuition, and who was responsible for paying it.

This experience taught me a valuable lesson: if you don’t understand the real problem, you can’t resolve it—or learn from it.

Step 6: Show Empathy

Even if you don’t agree with the parent’s complaint, remember that no one likes to feel disappointed—especially when it comes to their child.

Acknowledging the parent’s frustration doesn’t mean you’re admitting fault. Being empathetic helps lower their defenses so they can be more receptive to what you have to say. Empathy can turn a heated argument into a calm dialogue, making it easier to address the issue collaboratively.

Step 7: Be Clear About Next Steps

Now that you’ve heard the parent out and clarified the issue, let them know what’s going to happen next.

If you’re taking action, be specific about what you’re going to do and when. If no action will be taken, explain why—and bonus points if you can point to a specific policy in your handbook that supports your decision.

Whatever you do, don’t leave the parent in limbo. Saying “I’ll get back to you soon” is too vague and leaves the door open for more frustration—or worse, for them to escalate the complaint to social media or your state licensing agency. Instead, give them a concrete timeline for when they can expect an update.

Step 8: Communicate With Your Team

Complaints don’t just affect you—they can make your team uneasy too. After you’ve had time to process the situation, follow up with your staff.

If a complaint is tied to a specific staff member’s actions, use it as an opportunity to reset expectations, provide additional training, or—if necessary—reassign or terminate the employee.

If the complaint stems from a policy or operational issue, be transparent with your team about how you plan to address it. Taking accountability builds trust and respect.

Finally, if the complaint was a simple misunderstanding, reassure your staff so they’re not left wondering what they did wrong. Clear communication prevents unnecessary stress and promotes a positive work environment.

Step 9: Follow Through

Follow through on whatever you promised—whether it’s a change, a follow-up call, or a conversation with your team. If plans change, communicate that to the parent and staff as soon as possible.

Follow-through builds trust, and trust is essential for maintaining positive relationships with parents and your team.

Step 10: Document Everything

Always, always, always document complaints. Write down what happened, who said what, and any actions taken. Relying on written documentation instead of your memory is crucial for clarity and protection. No matter how small the complaint, always keep your receipts.

For serious complaints, this might include filing reports with law enforcement or your local licensing agency. For minor ones, it’s about creating a paper trail so you’re prepared if the issue comes up again.

You’ve Got This

You stand a better chance against complaints than I do against curbs

Working with parents can be a challenge, but it’s part of the job. And if you’re an early childhood professional, you’re already skilled at handling tough situations (ahem, toddlers!).

Dealing with complaints isn’t about avoiding them altogether—it’s about setting clear expectations, staying calm and empathetic under pressure, and creating systems to handle issues effectively. With the right approach, you can turn complaints into opportunities to build trust, strengthen relationships, and make your center even better.